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I remember the first time I heard about endometriosis. A friend lost her uterus. The hardest part was losing her "womanhood". Today she is healthy and happy.
I highly suggest the American Cancer Society , the National Cancer Institute, and the Mayo Clinic for more information and support groups.
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Thanks for this topic Puter. This may be a good place to share experiences.
Cancer is something that I personally have never had and hope I never get. The chances I will get are very strong. I live with cancer on a routine basis.
My dad
My mother
my brother
my sister
my daughter had preventive surgery at 22.
Last year we lost 4 family members to lung cancer and two more to other cancers.
Breast cancer runs rampant in my family.
What have I learned about dealing with people with cancer? Several things.
1. Never tell them every thing will be okay because for a while. Nothing is okay. They need to grieve. They need to get really ticked off. They need to feel overwhelmed and ever hopeless and scared of dying for a while.
2. Remember never to treat them like they are dead already, no matter had advanced the cancer is. No one is dead till they are dead. Saying "I remember when so and so could...." is defeating emotionally. There is not need to kill the spirit before the body.
3. Do not forget humor, even morbid humor (depending on the person) can do wonders. Humor, even in death, can be a saving grace.
4. Remember to go on living even if the person does not want to that day. If the whole world comes to a stop and focuses only on the cancer...it is defeating.
5. Remember to take care of yourself. Grieve for the person with the cancer then do all you can to be supportive.
6. Do not make the cancer the only topic of conversation. And never stare or focus on the physical aspects the person is forced to live with during treatment.
7. Remember cancer is an illness, not an immediate death sentence.
8. Even if it is 6 months only, 90 days only..live those 90 days to the best you can and continue on like you have 5000 years to live.
9. After a grieving time ask the question.."So what are you gonna do about this?" A time to get on with life should not take to long or it is to hard to get back to.
Finally and most important. Remember it is the person with cancer's illness and (maybe) death. While it affects each person involved, the bottom line is we do not have the right to force people to live or die.
If like James, they choose no medical treatment and they sit in the easy chair and live life as they choose to the last minute..that is their chose.
My brother has said his cancer returns for the third time..no treatment. He will not spend another major amount of years in hospitals and on drugs. We are ready and accept it. He moved in with me to die once before and he can again.
If they say no machines, respect it. It is not your body to rule over. It is not your life.
If they say "Do every thing to save me" then do it. it is their wish
I hate watching families fight over the dead and things they want now the person is not longer here to say "Mitts off damn it"
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