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just a bit of rumination at 3 am when most of cali is asleep..
it's funny how intense love for a person can turn into intense hate when the object of your affections fails to reciprocate, or falls short of your expectations, or even just fails to communicate with you.
recently i pushed someone away.. someone who i cared about deeply... most deeply. i wanted to be with this person badly, nay desperately, and when this person asked for more time to move 1000 miles to be with me, i took it to be a sign of reluctance and cut off all communication. i even wrote an extremely hurtful email to drive home the point.
now, over a week later and ignoring countless phonecalls, emails, and snail mail from the object of my love/hate, i realize that the pain is only worsening. i thought i could turn my love into hate and it will fizzle away faster that love would... but instead it's consummating me, breaking my heart slowly.
reading some of the postings here, like tinkerbell's and the sobering tragedy of the west virginian miners makes me wonder if life is too short for these games, these love-hate relationships. after all, once someone is gone, all that remains are memories... losing _ in the middle of this self-inflicted misery would be the ultimate tragedy.
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krissy---
life is indeed to short......please don't push this person away....i can tell by your words whomever this person is.....you still care very deeply for them...take care and I hope all works out for you...*hugs*
May I ask to which post of mine you were referring to?? *ss*
I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so trueThis message was edited by tinkerbell on 1-24-06 @ 8:57 PM
He is my light, my soul, my one love now and forever.
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