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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Eoraptor
10/5/2013   
 
Member



Domestic violence is a term used to describe violence and abuse by family members or intimate partners such as a spouse, former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, or date. Other terms used for domestic violence include the following:

Intimate partner abuse
Family violence
Child abuse
Battering
Courtship violence
Marital rape
Date rape
Stalking

Domestic violence can take many forms, but involves using intimidation and threats or violent behaviors to gain power and control over another person. Usually, the abusive person is a male, and women are often the victims; however, domestic violence occurs against males. Child abuse, elder abuse, and sibling abuse are also considered domestic violence.
Facts about domestic violence:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) lists the following facts about domestic violence and women:

About 4.8 million women are victimized by intimate partners annually.
Increased frequency of violence toward a spouse is associated with increased risk of the violent spouse also being abusive to the child.
There is a strong association between stalking and other forms of violence: 81 percent of women who were stalked by a current or former husband or partner were also physically assaulted by that partner, and 31 percent were also sexually assaulted.
Psychological consequences for victims of intimate partner violence can include depression, suicidal thoughts and attempts, lowered self-esteem, alcohol and other drug abuse, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

What are the different forms of domestic violence?

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, abuse often begins with verbal behaviors such as name-calling, threats, and hitting or throwing objects. It can become worse, including pushing, slapping, and holding against the victim's will. Further battering may include punching, hitting, and kicking and may escalate to life-threatening behaviors such as choking, breaking of bones, or use of weapons.

The following are forms of domestic violence and battering:

Physical - battering or hitting causing physical injury that may include bruising, broken bones, internal bleeding, and death. Often the abuse begins with minor contact and escalates over time into more violent actions.
Sexual - often accompanies or follows physical battering, and results in rape or other forced sexual activity.
Psychological or emotional - an abuser often mentally or emotionally abuses with words, threats, harassment, extreme possessiveness, forced isolation, and destruction of belongings. Isolation often occurs when the abuser tries to control a victim's time, activities, and contact with others. Abusers may accomplish this through interfering with supportive relationships, creating barriers to normal activities, such as taking away the car keys or locking the victim in the home, and lying or distorting what is real to gain psychological control.
Stalking - repeated harassing or threatening behavior; often leads to physical or sexual abuse.
Economic - when the abuser controls access to the all of the victim's resources, such as time, transportation, food, clothing, shelter, insurance, and money. For example, he may interfere with her ability to become self-sufficient, and insist that he control all of the finances. When the victim leaves the violent relationship, the perpetrator may use economics as a way to maintain control or force her to return.

How to get help:

First, you must recognize that battering or abuse is occurring. Because verbal and emotional abuse often precede physical violence, you should be aware of warning signs that include extreme jealousy, possessiveness, a bad temper, unpredictability, cruelty to animals, and verbal abusiveness.

Contact your local battered women's shelter or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. They can provide you with helpful information and advice.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence urges women in abusive relationships to create a safety plan. The following plan may help you in difficult situations:

Find a safe place to go in your home if an argument begins. Avoid rooms without an exit and rooms with potential dangers such as a kitchen.
Know who to contact in a crisis and establish a code word or sign among trusted family or friends to let them know you need help.
Memorize all important phone numbers.
Always keep money and change with you.
Keep important papers and documents in a place you can easily access if necessary, including: social security cards, birth certificates, marriage license, checkbook, charge cards, bank statements, health insurance cards, and any records of past abuse including photographs and police reports.

Remember that help is available and that you have the right to live without fear and violence. Without help, abuse will continue and place you at risk for serious harm.

Edited: 10/2/2015 by Eoraptor
Post #993949 Back to top ▲
10/5/2013
 
Eoraptor
Member



Domestic violence is a term used to describe violence and abuse by family members or intimate partners such as a spouse, former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, or date. Other terms used for domestic violence include the following:

Intimate partner abuse
Family violence
Child abuse
Battering
Courtship violence
Marital rape
Date rape
Stalking

Domestic violence can take many forms, but involves using intimidation and threats or violent behaviors to gain power and control over another person. Usually, the abusive person is a male, and women are often the victims; however, domestic violence occurs against males. Child abuse, elder abuse, and sibling abuse are also considered domestic violence.
Facts about domestic violence:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) lists the following facts about domestic violence and women:

About 4.8 million women are victimized by intimate partners annually.
Increased frequency of violence toward a spouse is associated with increased risk of the violent spouse also being abusive to the child.
There is a strong association between stalking and other forms of violence: 81 percent of women who were stalked by a current or former husband or partner were also physically assaulted by that partner, and 31 percent were also sexually assaulted.
Psychological consequences for victims of intimate partner violence can include depression, suicidal thoughts and attempts, lowered self-esteem, alcohol and other drug abuse, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

What are the different forms of domestic violence?

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, abuse often begins with verbal behaviors such as name-calling, threats, and hitting or throwing objects. It can become worse, including pushing, slapping, and holding against the victim's will. Further battering may include punching, hitting, and kicking and may escalate to life-threatening behaviors such as choking, breaking of bones, or use of weapons.

The following are forms of domestic violence and battering:

Physical - battering or hitting causing physical injury that may include bruising, broken bones, internal bleeding, and death. Often the abuse begins with minor contact and escalates over time into more violent actions.
Sexual - often accompanies or follows physical battering, and results in rape or other forced sexual activity.
Psychological or emotional - an abuser often mentally or emotionally abuses with words, threats, harassment, extreme possessiveness, forced isolation, and destruction of belongings. Isolation often occurs when the abuser tries to control a victim's time, activities, and contact with others. Abusers may accomplish this through interfering with supportive relationships, creating barriers to normal activities, such as taking away the car keys or locking the victim in the home, and lying or distorting what is real to gain psychological control.
Stalking - repeated harassing or threatening behavior; often leads to physical or sexual abuse.
Economic - when the abuser controls access to the all of the victim's resources, such as time, transportation, food, clothing, shelter, insurance, and money. For example, he may interfere with her ability to become self-sufficient, and insist that he control all of the finances. When the victim leaves the violent relationship, the perpetrator may use economics as a way to maintain control or force her to return.

How to get help:

First, you must recognize that battering or abuse is occurring. Because verbal and emotional abuse often precede physical violence, you should be aware of warning signs that include extreme jealousy, possessiveness, a bad temper, unpredictability, cruelty to animals, and verbal abusiveness.

Contact your local battered women's shelter or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. They can provide you with helpful information and advice.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence urges women in abusive relationships to create a safety plan. The following plan may help you in difficult situations:

Find a safe place to go in your home if an argument begins. Avoid rooms without an exit and rooms with potential dangers such as a kitchen.
Know who to contact in a crisis and establish a code word or sign among trusted family or friends to let them know you need help.
Memorize all important phone numbers.
Always keep money and change with you.
Keep important papers and documents in a place you can easily access if necessary, including: social security cards, birth certificates, marriage license, checkbook, charge cards, bank statements, health insurance cards, and any records of past abuse including photographs and police reports.

Remember that help is available and that you have the right to live without fear and violence. Without help, abuse will continue and place you at risk for serious harm.

Edited: 10/2/2015 by Eoraptor
Post #993949
Eoraptor
10/15/2013   
 
Member A bit of a bump for the middle of the month...

Yes, Manly Men can wear bright purple ribbons.

Now normally I am not the ribbon-wearing type. I much prefer my social activism to be much more... well... active.

Fair disclosure, I worked at and volunteered at a Women's shelter for several years during and after High School, alongside my mother, who was the office manager. For anyone who has read some of my stories posted here, such as "A Kigo Carol" and the cookie "Vengeance (ficlet)" know that I have drawn dark inspiration from that time in my life. Sadly that shelter was forced to close due to lack of funding! So please, contact your local police, sheriff, hospital, and look in your phone book to find a DV shelter (men can be abused too, so it is inaccurate to call all shelter's women's shelters) and find out how you can help.

-The easiest way is of course, donations of money or materiel (new unopened clothes, bedding, toiletries, and toys are ALWAYS in need)
-Many shelters cannot allow volunteering hours because of needing to maintain secure and/or secret locations, or having strict rules on which genders can be in the building at what hours. (The Turning Point, where I worked, disallowed men in the building after 10 PM and before 7 AM as it was primarily a woman's and children's shelter)
-Ask if your local shelter accepts volunteer workers, or needs advocacy in other ways: someone to sit in with wives and children during court proceedings, someone to tutor or mentor children, someone to beat the streets for funding.
-If there is no Violence shelter in your local area, get involved with your city council or local law enforcement to find out how one might be established.

So here is what I want you to take away from my purple ribbon.
1.) Domestic Violence and marital abuse takes many forms, Physical, Emotional, Sexual, and Economic.

2.) Someone you know, of either gender, any age, may be or have been a victim. It's disturbingly disgustingly common and often goes unspoken and unreported until it is too late, use the above links to be aware of the signs and what to do about them.

3.) Silence is NEVER the answer. If you suspect domestic violence against spouses or children or anyone, call the local police or sheriff's department immediately. No amount of shame or uneasiness or uncertainty is enough to make up for knowing someone may have been beaten, !@#$, or murdered when you could have simply made a phone call, and no false alarm should cause "the boy who cried wolf" feelings.

4.) If you are a victim directly or need to advocate for someone who cannot advocate for themselves: What can I do to get help for myself?
Through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE [7233] or TTY 1-800-787-3224), help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline Alternately, many communities have local numbers which can be called directly, or referred through the above support number. In any event, help IS available.
Post #994478 Back to top ▲
10/15/2013
 
Eoraptor
Member
A bit of a bump for the middle of the month...

Yes, Manly Men can wear bright purple ribbons.

Now normally I am not the ribbon-wearing type. I much prefer my social activism to be much more... well... active.

Fair disclosure, I worked at and volunteered at a Women's shelter for several years during and after High School, alongside my mother, who was the office manager. For anyone who has read some of my stories posted here, such as "A Kigo Carol" and the cookie "Vengeance (ficlet)" know that I have drawn dark inspiration from that time in my life. Sadly that shelter was forced to close due to lack of funding! So please, contact your local police, sheriff, hospital, and look in your phone book to find a DV shelter (men can be abused too, so it is inaccurate to call all shelter's women's shelters) and find out how you can help.

-The easiest way is of course, donations of money or materiel (new unopened clothes, bedding, toiletries, and toys are ALWAYS in need)
-Many shelters cannot allow volunteering hours because of needing to maintain secure and/or secret locations, or having strict rules on which genders can be in the building at what hours. (The Turning Point, where I worked, disallowed men in the building after 10 PM and before 7 AM as it was primarily a woman's and children's shelter)
-Ask if your local shelter accepts volunteer workers, or needs advocacy in other ways: someone to sit in with wives and children during court proceedings, someone to tutor or mentor children, someone to beat the streets for funding.
-If there is no Violence shelter in your local area, get involved with your city council or local law enforcement to find out how one might be established.

So here is what I want you to take away from my purple ribbon.
1.) Domestic Violence and marital abuse takes many forms, Physical, Emotional, Sexual, and Economic.

2.) Someone you know, of either gender, any age, may be or have been a victim. It's disturbingly disgustingly common and often goes unspoken and unreported until it is too late, use the above links to be aware of the signs and what to do about them.

3.) Silence is NEVER the answer. If you suspect domestic violence against spouses or children or anyone, call the local police or sheriff's department immediately. No amount of shame or uneasiness or uncertainty is enough to make up for knowing someone may have been beaten, !@#$, or murdered when you could have simply made a phone call, and no false alarm should cause "the boy who cried wolf" feelings.

4.) If you are a victim directly or need to advocate for someone who cannot advocate for themselves: What can I do to get help for myself?
Through the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE [7233] or TTY 1-800-787-3224), help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline Alternately, many communities have local numbers which can be called directly, or referred through the above support number. In any event, help IS available.
Post #994478
Eoraptor
10/2/2014   
 
Member pushing this back to the top
Post #1009506 Back to top ▲
10/2/2014
 
Eoraptor
Member
pushing this back to the top
Post #1009506
Eoraptor
10/2/2015   
 
Member Updating with a new graphic and pushing this to the top to further awareness
Post #1023416 Back to top ▲
10/2/2015
 
Eoraptor
Member
Updating with a new graphic and pushing this to the top to further awareness
Post #1023416
Eoraptor
10/1/2016   
 
Member
Once again it is my morose duty to push this back to the top of the pile.
Post #1034195 Back to top ▲
10/1/2016
 
Eoraptor
Member
Once again it is my morose duty to push this back to the top of the pile.
Post #1034195
~pw~
10/2/2016   
 
Member This is not just about women being beaten anymore. There are men out there that were taught or do not believe in hitting a woman for any reason and yet their women are assaulting them big time.

There are gay men being abused by their partners,
These men might seek help only to be told to man up and take charge.
They are made fun of big time. We have a place for battered men here to safely find support.

I truly believe we must say Domestic abuse is not okay no matter who is being abused or what the reason is.
Post #1034198 Back to top ▲
10/2/2016
 
~pw~
Member
This is not just about women being beaten anymore. There are men out there that were taught or do not believe in hitting a woman for any reason and yet their women are assaulting them big time.

There are gay men being abused by their partners,
These men might seek help only to be told to man up and take charge.
They are made fun of big time. We have a place for battered men here to safely find support.

I truly believe we must say Domestic abuse is not okay no matter who is being abused or what the reason is.
Post #1034198
Eoraptor
10/8/2016   
 
Member Very Well Said PW
Post #1034275 Back to top ▲
10/8/2016
 
Eoraptor
Member
Very Well Said PW
Post #1034275
Eoraptor
10/2/2017   
 
Member
Pushes to the top
Post #1039962 Back to top ▲
10/2/2017
 
Eoraptor
Member
Pushes to the top
Post #1039962
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