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D/s: What is True Dominance?
Brogan{bailey}
11/24/2012   
 
Member



Any man can grab a woman by her hair.
Throw her onto the bed. Rip her clothing off. Tie her up.
Call her a ‘bitch’ or a ‘slut’. And have rough sex with her.
That’s not dominance. That’s rough sex.
Maybe even violent sex. And if she’s into it, it can even be fun.
But that’s not true dominance.

True dominance is whispering softly in her ear.
And observing as she obediently removes her clothing.
Methodically. A piece at a time. Watching as she kneels
before you. And offers her body to you. Willingly.
Without reservation. Showing you her most
vulnerable parts without embarrassment or shame.
And knowing nothing makes her happier, then making you happy.


Copyright © 2012 SEX-N-SUBMISSION



Edited: 10/18/2015 by ksenia
Post #978536 Back to top ▲
11/24/2012
 



Any man can grab a woman by her hair.
Throw her onto the bed. Rip her clothing off. Tie her up.
Call her a ‘bitch’ or a ‘slut’. And have rough sex with her.
That’s not dominance. That’s rough sex.
Maybe even violent sex. And if she’s into it, it can even be fun.
But that’s not true dominance.

True dominance is whispering softly in her ear.
And observing as she obediently removes her clothing.
Methodically. A piece at a time. Watching as she kneels
before you. And offers her body to you. Willingly.
Without reservation. Showing you her most
vulnerable parts without embarrassment or shame.
And knowing nothing makes her happier, then making you happy.


Copyright © 2012 SEX-N-SUBMISSION



Edited: 10/18/2015 by ksenia
Post #978536
SuGar
11/25/2012   
 
Member the beauty within the lifestyle...

Smile
Post #978539 Back to top ▲
11/25/2012
 
SuGar
Member
the beauty within the lifestyle...

Smile
Post #978539
elusive
11/25/2012   
 
D/s Event Organizer
D/s Event Organizer
true Dominance
true submission
are so, so precious...


thank You Brogan Sire for sharing this one.




~~~~*~~
"To serve is beautiful, but only if it is done with joy and a whole heart and a free mind." - Pearl S Buck

L'esclave a sa vanité, il ne veut obéir qu'au plus grand des despotes. H. de Balzac
Post #978558 Back to top ▲
11/25/2012
 
elusive
D/s Event Organizer
D/s Event Organizer
true Dominance
true submission
are so, so precious...


thank You Brogan Sire for sharing this one.




~~~~*~~
"To serve is beautiful, but only if it is done with joy and a whole heart and a free mind." - Pearl S Buck

L'esclave a sa vanité, il ne veut obéir qu'au plus grand des despotes. H. de Balzac
Post #978558
lil~rinoa
11/25/2012   
 
Member
thank You Brogan, Sir, for posting such a beautiful and true statement. *smiles*
i hope Mmany can learn from such words.
Post #978599 Back to top ▲
11/25/2012
 
lil~rinoa
Member
thank You Brogan, Sir, for posting such a beautiful and true statement. *smiles*
i hope Mmany can learn from such words.
Post #978599
sandra
11/27/2012   
 
Member
You have summed it up SO very perfectly.
ThankYou.
Post #978701 Back to top ▲
11/27/2012
 
sandra
Member
You have summed it up SO very perfectly.
ThankYou.
Post #978701
AlphaOne
12/12/2012   
 
Member


The behavior of people fascinates Me at both ends of the leash.
To keep on topic...True Dominance, I will relegate My comments to
that focus and not veer off stream.

It is rare that I use the word dominance. Too many... confuse and misuse
the true meaning and take liberties that go beyond the realm of
the definition. Dominance is not the toxic use of force to gain
"total control."
My mother would attest to the fact that from a very young age,
she recognized My "in charge" nature. Often, Dad had to remind Me
he was the one in charge. I tried My best to follow his instructions.
However, My attempts never lasted very long. Which leads Me to the
premise that I was predisposed to be dominant.

Another aspect of being dominant is the whole concept of leadership.
A submissive in a Ds relationship seeks from her dominant "total control".
The happiness and security she feels comes from those dominants who
are good leaders .
Understand that this doesn't mean a submissive never gets her way or her
input means nothing. Far from it.
However, it does mean that when there's a difference of opinion
about what should happen next and compromise is impossible, the dominant
gets to make the decision.

The good dominants I know.. work really hard to stay in that position.
It doesn't come easily. In fact, it's one of the hardest things to do as
a dominant.

To maintain dominance...you can not fight about every little thing.
The submissive must have some control on occasion or a say.
It sounds contrary but it is what helps the Ds work. Ultimately, Ds relationships
are one type of relationship in which someone has to have the last
word. When you have different and incompatible preferences, the
dominant has to be able to make and enforce a decision.


My relationship with my parents got a lot easier when we weren’t
struggling for control over my life. Not that they were bad parents
who tried to control me too much...they just wanted me to do reasonable
things like come home by curfew and do my homework. It was easier for
both of us once I got old enough that they didn’t feel like they had
to enforce those rules, and it was my problem if I stayed out too
late and was exhausted at class the next morning, or didn’t do
my homework on time and had to stay up all night finishing it.
I don’t think that transition would be as painful if it didn’t
involve a change in social status and dominance roles.


People do abuse the idea of dominance.

I generally think that some dominants have too much of a tendency
to say “I’m in charge, so what I say goes”.
– i.e., because of my higher position, you shouldn’t question the
content of what I decide.

Let's face it ...that's not useful for leading a submissive.
It makes her feel ignored and disrespected.

Real leadership, and people’s trust in particular.. a dominant's
leadership, has to be earned by a consistent pattern of good decisions
that lead to outcomes that work both for the dominant and the submissive.


Post #980482 Back to top ▲
12/12/2012
 
AlphaOne
Member


The behavior of people fascinates Me at both ends of the leash.
To keep on topic...True Dominance, I will relegate My comments to
that focus and not veer off stream.

It is rare that I use the word dominance. Too many... confuse and misuse
the true meaning and take liberties that go beyond the realm of
the definition. Dominance is not the toxic use of force to gain
"total control."
My mother would attest to the fact that from a very young age,
she recognized My "in charge" nature. Often, Dad had to remind Me
he was the one in charge. I tried My best to follow his instructions.
However, My attempts never lasted very long. Which leads Me to the
premise that I was predisposed to be dominant.

Another aspect of being dominant is the whole concept of leadership.
A submissive in a Ds relationship seeks from her dominant "total control".
The happiness and security she feels comes from those dominants who
are good leaders .
Understand that this doesn't mean a submissive never gets her way or her
input means nothing. Far from it.
However, it does mean that when there's a difference of opinion
about what should happen next and compromise is impossible, the dominant
gets to make the decision.

The good dominants I know.. work really hard to stay in that position.
It doesn't come easily. In fact, it's one of the hardest things to do as
a dominant.

To maintain dominance...you can not fight about every little thing.
The submissive must have some control on occasion or a say.
It sounds contrary but it is what helps the Ds work. Ultimately, Ds relationships
are one type of relationship in which someone has to have the last
word. When you have different and incompatible preferences, the
dominant has to be able to make and enforce a decision.


My relationship with my parents got a lot easier when we weren’t
struggling for control over my life. Not that they were bad parents
who tried to control me too much...they just wanted me to do reasonable
things like come home by curfew and do my homework. It was easier for
both of us once I got old enough that they didn’t feel like they had
to enforce those rules, and it was my problem if I stayed out too
late and was exhausted at class the next morning, or didn’t do
my homework on time and had to stay up all night finishing it.
I don’t think that transition would be as painful if it didn’t
involve a change in social status and dominance roles.


People do abuse the idea of dominance.

I generally think that some dominants have too much of a tendency
to say “I’m in charge, so what I say goes”.
– i.e., because of my higher position, you shouldn’t question the
content of what I decide.

Let's face it ...that's not useful for leading a submissive.
It makes her feel ignored and disrespected.

Real leadership, and people’s trust in particular.. a dominant's
leadership, has to be earned by a consistent pattern of good decisions
that lead to outcomes that work both for the dominant and the submissive.


Post #980482
~strungfilly~
12/12/2012   
 
submissive i have had the hand of Dominance disguised as abuse and i have had the privilege of true Dominance and the Two are poles apart.

Edited: 12/12/2012 by ~strungfilly~
Post #980493 Back to top ▲
12/12/2012
 
~strungfilly~
submissive
i have had the hand of Dominance disguised as abuse and i have had the privilege of true Dominance and the Two are poles apart.

Edited: 12/12/2012 by ~strungfilly~
Post #980493
miranda
12/13/2012   
 
Member Savage, You have grown so much over the years. I am proud of You.

not that my opinion matters, chuckles, just saying
Post #980596 Back to top ▲
12/13/2012
 
miranda
Member
Savage, You have grown so much over the years. I am proud of You.

not that my opinion matters, chuckles, just saying
Post #980596
BlondeAmbitionTA
12/14/2012   
 
Member Gawd I hate reruns!
Post #980675 Back to top ▲
12/14/2012
 
Gawd I hate reruns!
Post #980675
catharsis
12/16/2012   
 
Member When everyone, and especially those here at the Pork
finally accept that attitude Mark, then and only then
will harmony come to Chamber.

We may or may not agree with how others practice,
but it's their right to be who they are, and it's not
my right to judge nor deem whether or not it is D's.

Most excellent post.

*s*

Cath
Post #980812 Back to top ▲
12/16/2012
 
catharsis
Member
When everyone, and especially those here at the Pork
finally accept that attitude Mark, then and only then
will harmony come to Chamber.

We may or may not agree with how others practice,
but it's their right to be who they are, and it's not
my right to judge nor deem whether or not it is D's.

Most excellent post.

*s*

Cath
Post #980812
NyteRunner
5/14/2013   
 
Member
pin, I believe the topic was about True Dominance, and not just who is in charge in the bedroom

for some people, all they associate with D/s, is who fucks who where and how.. who is in charge in the bedroom

for others.. D/s is the true lifestyle.. where it is not based on sex.. but on the power exchange..

This comment of yours:

pfft. Like centuries old plain old male domination and female subjugation - that's no trick.

shows that you have your mind already made up on what Dominance and submission is about.. and I'm sorry to see that's how you feel about it..

but please don't insult those of us who love and live this lifestyle.. not only in the bedroom
Post #987578 Back to top ▲
5/14/2013
 
NyteRunner
Member
pin, I believe the topic was about True Dominance, and not just who is in charge in the bedroom

for some people, all they associate with D/s, is who fucks who where and how.. who is in charge in the bedroom

for others.. D/s is the true lifestyle.. where it is not based on sex.. but on the power exchange..

This comment of yours:

pfft. Like centuries old plain old male domination and female subjugation - that's no trick.

shows that you have your mind already made up on what Dominance and submission is about.. and I'm sorry to see that's how you feel about it..

but please don't insult those of us who love and live this lifestyle.. not only in the bedroom
Post #987578
elusive
5/15/2013   
 
D/s Event Organizer
D/s Event Organizer
pin, there is a quite a difference here.

Power exchange is something you give freely, something that nurture you and makes you a better you for the benefit of the two (or more) exchanging.




~~~~*~~
"To serve is beautiful, but only if it is done with joy and a whole heart and a free mind." - Pearl S Buck

L'esclave a sa vanité, il ne veut obéir qu'au plus grand des despotes. H. de Balzac
Post #987622 Back to top ▲
5/15/2013
 
elusive
D/s Event Organizer
D/s Event Organizer
pin, there is a quite a difference here.

Power exchange is something you give freely, something that nurture you and makes you a better you for the benefit of the two (or more) exchanging.




~~~~*~~
"To serve is beautiful, but only if it is done with joy and a whole heart and a free mind." - Pearl S Buck

L'esclave a sa vanité, il ne veut obéir qu'au plus grand des despotes. H. de Balzac
Post #987622
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