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Zanman
11/22/2017   
 
Member
I have found of late that chatting here has become a bit more difficult, I see less and less of the old familiar faces and too much conflict with chatters-hey people none of you are perfect, I heard perfect people don't chat .... You try to treat people with kindness and love and just have fun. you meet some chatters that you really care about and they end up hurting you , not knowing that they are, hurting you. You don't want to tell them because you know they will feel bad about them unintentionally hurting you it's all about perception or expectations I guess. sometimes we can't even be honest with ourselves let alone others. I adore chatters like Debbie, baci, MrH, Baddone, Moonshiner, Miss Sasha , Opal. eternal, to name a few and I still think fondly of a lot who still visit and those who no longer visit here, well maybe they visit but I never see them. I love the morning chat crew but of late a certain individual is showing up and I let it ruin chat for me . notice I said I let it, I have control and I let it bother me knowing full well I should not!


I have been coming here since 2002, stayed away for a few months at time, because of the drama whether self inflicted or assholes in chat (we know there are some) I admit I had become an asshole when I needed to be one, but it's not a habit I subscribed too

my asshole reactions was because of specific chatters being assholes

I will still come and go as long as the pork exist and I exist. with fond memories of the chatters I have met in real life and to the future chatters i may meet,
Post #1040708 Back to top ▲
11/22/2017
 
Zanman
Member
I have found of late that chatting here has become a bit more difficult, I see less and less of the old familiar faces and too much conflict with chatters-hey people none of you are perfect, I heard perfect people don't chat .... You try to treat people with kindness and love and just have fun. you meet some chatters that you really care about and they end up hurting you , not knowing that they are, hurting you. You don't want to tell them because you know they will feel bad about them unintentionally hurting you it's all about perception or expectations I guess. sometimes we can't even be honest with ourselves let alone others. I adore chatters like Debbie, baci, MrH, Baddone, Moonshiner, Miss Sasha , Opal. eternal, to name a few and I still think fondly of a lot who still visit and those who no longer visit here, well maybe they visit but I never see them. I love the morning chat crew but of late a certain individual is showing up and I let it ruin chat for me . notice I said I let it, I have control and I let it bother me knowing full well I should not!


I have been coming here since 2002, stayed away for a few months at time, because of the drama whether self inflicted or assholes in chat (we know there are some) I admit I had become an asshole when I needed to be one, but it's not a habit I subscribed too

my asshole reactions was because of specific chatters being assholes

I will still come and go as long as the pork exist and I exist. with fond memories of the chatters I have met in real life and to the future chatters i may meet,
Post #1040708
scarlet*snow
11/23/2017   
 
Member
you are such a darling man Zanny Zanman and i miss chatting with you so much. You speak sense my friend.
Post #1040715 Back to top ▲
11/23/2017
 
scarlet*snow
Member
you are such a darling man Zanny Zanman and i miss chatting with you so much. You speak sense my friend.
Post #1040715
Cradz
11/23/2017   
 
The Owner
The Owner
I can relate.

I'm a gamer and gaming just has gone down hill over the past few years due to various issues including a influx of toxic players (many younger who weren't even alive when I started).

What did I do about it? I joined an older gamer guild and we all yell at the kids to get off our lawn. Laugh

Seriously though... this site just might not be for you anymore but I know it's hard to let go. If you're letting certain individuals get to you then it's simply not worth it. I can only provide the platform and tools (ignore, make your own room etc) to combat some of this but largely (as you recognize) it's on the individual to shape their own reality.

Sadly the internet isn't what it once was as big money came in years ago and bastardized it. It's going to get worse btw... with net neutrality being attacked the big boys will just get bigger and small sites like ours will die or not even get started in the first place. Fortunately I have the technical knowledge and income from other sources this site will be around for those that want to use it and recognize it's true value.
Post #1040717 Back to top ▲
11/23/2017
 
Cradz
The Owner
The Owner
I can relate.

I'm a gamer and gaming just has gone down hill over the past few years due to various issues including a influx of toxic players (many younger who weren't even alive when I started).

What did I do about it? I joined an older gamer guild and we all yell at the kids to get off our lawn. Laugh

Seriously though... this site just might not be for you anymore but I know it's hard to let go. If you're letting certain individuals get to you then it's simply not worth it. I can only provide the platform and tools (ignore, make your own room etc) to combat some of this but largely (as you recognize) it's on the individual to shape their own reality.

Sadly the internet isn't what it once was as big money came in years ago and bastardized it. It's going to get worse btw... with net neutrality being attacked the big boys will just get bigger and small sites like ours will die or not even get started in the first place. Fortunately I have the technical knowledge and income from other sources this site will be around for those that want to use it and recognize it's true value.
Post #1040717
CJ
11/25/2017   
 
thanks zanny for saying what some people have been thinking.
nobody wants to be the one ranting about stuff, but then if nobody raises any issues, things can get worse.
so thanks for the little rant.
it got me to thinking.. so here's my little rant.
~g~

i know some people have been participating in chat here at the pork for many years. it's been around for over a decade now, right? it's a fascinating venue here.

many kudos to cradz and the others, like the graphics goddesses, who keep this this place going and enhance it. and the chatters who are here often that make it fun.

i've been here about 2 1/2 years now. like many, i've taken breaks and come back.
from time to time i've pondered a few things about this place.
on occasion, i've shared a few of these ideas with a few people, but never put them together.
so i thought i'd throw a few thoughts out there too.
maybe a few ideas will spark some thought or action - who knows? take a chance, i say. ~l~


  1. this place - the pork, the people who chat here, nhb as the main chatroom, and the forums - is quite unique. i know of no other place like this. and if any of you have looked around, you probably know that too. this place is pretty cool! for all its quirks and foibles and occasional crap, it's kinda fun here. lots of you already know that i'm sure or you wouldn't be reading this or playing here.

  2. much as i like to think that i get along with most people here and in general, there are just some people that i need to ignore here. not that they are doing anything wrong specifically - in fact, if you believe in the name of the room "no holds barred" and in freedom of speech, then there's nothing wrong with what those people say. but, if what they are talking about is not something i want to hear about when visit here, i just click to ignore. and what i have found is that eliminating that noise makes this chat experience a lot better. engaging with them just encourages bad behavior. ~w~ bad to me at least, or maybe just not enjoyable to me. if that's your thing, do it!

  3. i've seen a natural ebb and flow to the chat activity in nhb. sometimes there are a lot of people around, sometimes nhb is not very active. maybe it's seasonal - i would guess summer (in the USA/Canada) is slower, and maybe around the winter holidays too. and then other times it's really busy here.

  4. while many of the long time chatters here reminisce about the old days here, they are gone, and aren't coming back. some of the folks that used to make this place fun and lively are not returning for a variety of reasons. i would say that this place, just like many other things in life, needs some new blood - a constant influx of new people to keep it fresh and interesting. not just previous chatters coming back. part of making this place attractive is what cradz does - adding new features, membership levels, etc. And he does a great job at that stuff, and i doubt he's getting rich from this, if he's telling the truth. ~l~ and i believe that's the case. but, we need new people. see next point.

  5. it's my never-so-humble opinion that we don't treat newcomers very well here. i came here a couple years ago and was interested, but wasn't made to feel very welcome here initially. and i chatted with others who started visiting here around the same time and they had similar impressions. it may be worse for women coming here initially than for men. this place is not easy to figure out if you are new, and if you get the cold shoulder when you arrive here, you're just going to leave. i'm just a very stubborn bastard and wouldn't give up! but many others will. how many new people have come here and stayed this year? how many of them are paying members? not too many, are there? you could probably count them on the fingers of both hands, and not need to take your shoes off. so, if we want this place to be interesting, i suggest that we be kinder to newbies.

  6. besides the less-then-warm receptions that new people get here, the other thing is that there are a lot of inside jokes and pet names that people use here. and that's fun if you are on the inside already. but if you are new, you are simply just lost. you don't know who is talking to who, or what's going on. and then you leave and don't come back. so have fun with existing friends, but keep in mind that a potential new friend might be fun too, if you can make it so everyone can understand what's going on a little bit better.

  7. here's my pet peeve - people that come in and say - "nothing's going on here", or "the room is dead" - and leave. maybe try sticking around a few minutes, and see what happens. don't expect someone else to start always the conversation - take the initiative. if you want to be entertained, be entertaining!

  8. lurkers and non-public chatters - come out! a little while ago someone that almost never chatted in public joined in the nhb chat. i recogonized the name but knew nothing about that person. turned out to be an interesting public chat that turned into a lively session that drew a good number of others into it too. so, maybe if a few lurkers and those who don't join the public chat would do so, the place would be a little more lively.

  9. auction nights are a blast!

  10. the iconeers here are awesome!

  11. finally, if you are a non-paying chatter, consider joining, if you can. the cost is not that much, and the fun is limited only by what you might put into it. put a little skin in the game. and if you don't want an adult site to show up on your credit card bill for whatever reason, use one of those gift cards you can get at the supermarket or drug store.



okay, i'm off my soapbox.
i like this place and many of the people here, and hope things thrive. you probably do too.

it would be interesting to hear some other thoughts about this.
thanks zanny for provoking me to put my thoughts out there.

there are lots of people here with various opinions and strong views. i hope you are provoked a little too and throw out some ideas.

what do you think?
Post #1040731 Back to top ▲
11/25/2017
 
CJ
thanks zanny for saying what some people have been thinking.
nobody wants to be the one ranting about stuff, but then if nobody raises any issues, things can get worse.
so thanks for the little rant.
it got me to thinking.. so here's my little rant.
~g~

i know some people have been participating in chat here at the pork for many years. it's been around for over a decade now, right? it's a fascinating venue here.

many kudos to cradz and the others, like the graphics goddesses, who keep this this place going and enhance it. and the chatters who are here often that make it fun.

i've been here about 2 1/2 years now. like many, i've taken breaks and come back.
from time to time i've pondered a few things about this place.
on occasion, i've shared a few of these ideas with a few people, but never put them together.
so i thought i'd throw a few thoughts out there too.
maybe a few ideas will spark some thought or action - who knows? take a chance, i say. ~l~


  1. this place - the pork, the people who chat here, nhb as the main chatroom, and the forums - is quite unique. i know of no other place like this. and if any of you have looked around, you probably know that too. this place is pretty cool! for all its quirks and foibles and occasional crap, it's kinda fun here. lots of you already know that i'm sure or you wouldn't be reading this or playing here.

  2. much as i like to think that i get along with most people here and in general, there are just some people that i need to ignore here. not that they are doing anything wrong specifically - in fact, if you believe in the name of the room "no holds barred" and in freedom of speech, then there's nothing wrong with what those people say. but, if what they are talking about is not something i want to hear about when visit here, i just click to ignore. and what i have found is that eliminating that noise makes this chat experience a lot better. engaging with them just encourages bad behavior. ~w~ bad to me at least, or maybe just not enjoyable to me. if that's your thing, do it!

  3. i've seen a natural ebb and flow to the chat activity in nhb. sometimes there are a lot of people around, sometimes nhb is not very active. maybe it's seasonal - i would guess summer (in the USA/Canada) is slower, and maybe around the winter holidays too. and then other times it's really busy here.

  4. while many of the long time chatters here reminisce about the old days here, they are gone, and aren't coming back. some of the folks that used to make this place fun and lively are not returning for a variety of reasons. i would say that this place, just like many other things in life, needs some new blood - a constant influx of new people to keep it fresh and interesting. not just previous chatters coming back. part of making this place attractive is what cradz does - adding new features, membership levels, etc. And he does a great job at that stuff, and i doubt he's getting rich from this, if he's telling the truth. ~l~ and i believe that's the case. but, we need new people. see next point.

  5. it's my never-so-humble opinion that we don't treat newcomers very well here. i came here a couple years ago and was interested, but wasn't made to feel very welcome here initially. and i chatted with others who started visiting here around the same time and they had similar impressions. it may be worse for women coming here initially than for men. this place is not easy to figure out if you are new, and if you get the cold shoulder when you arrive here, you're just going to leave. i'm just a very stubborn bastard and wouldn't give up! but many others will. how many new people have come here and stayed this year? how many of them are paying members? not too many, are there? you could probably count them on the fingers of both hands, and not need to take your shoes off. so, if we want this place to be interesting, i suggest that we be kinder to newbies.

  6. besides the less-then-warm receptions that new people get here, the other thing is that there are a lot of inside jokes and pet names that people use here. and that's fun if you are on the inside already. but if you are new, you are simply just lost. you don't know who is talking to who, or what's going on. and then you leave and don't come back. so have fun with existing friends, but keep in mind that a potential new friend might be fun too, if you can make it so everyone can understand what's going on a little bit better.

  7. here's my pet peeve - people that come in and say - "nothing's going on here", or "the room is dead" - and leave. maybe try sticking around a few minutes, and see what happens. don't expect someone else to start always the conversation - take the initiative. if you want to be entertained, be entertaining!

  8. lurkers and non-public chatters - come out! a little while ago someone that almost never chatted in public joined in the nhb chat. i recogonized the name but knew nothing about that person. turned out to be an interesting public chat that turned into a lively session that drew a good number of others into it too. so, maybe if a few lurkers and those who don't join the public chat would do so, the place would be a little more lively.

  9. auction nights are a blast!

  10. the iconeers here are awesome!

  11. finally, if you are a non-paying chatter, consider joining, if you can. the cost is not that much, and the fun is limited only by what you might put into it. put a little skin in the game. and if you don't want an adult site to show up on your credit card bill for whatever reason, use one of those gift cards you can get at the supermarket or drug store.



okay, i'm off my soapbox.
i like this place and many of the people here, and hope things thrive. you probably do too.

it would be interesting to hear some other thoughts about this.
thanks zanny for provoking me to put my thoughts out there.

there are lots of people here with various opinions and strong views. i hope you are provoked a little too and throw out some ideas.

what do you think?
Post #1040731
Cradz
11/25/2017   
 
The Owner
The Owner
Thanks CJ.

Yes there is a natural ebb and flow to the usage of the site although it's dropped quite a bit the past couple of years. We've been online for nearly 16 years and it's lasted far longer than many thought it would in 2001.

There is a reason you see advertising on pretty much every site on the Internet and sites like ours are never going to be main stream but the point many miss is we're not trying to be! It is unique in many ways and because there is no profit motive it's going to stay that way. No, I don't get paid and in fact as a s-corp the site is a pass through entity meaning I actually end up paying personal taxes on any profit the site does make so it's actually better for me for the site to not make money!

I agree that newbies need to be treated better. Perhaps we can look at some incentives to encourage current members to interact more with newbies or even add some room "helpers" to the rooms and pay them with the new "pork coins" system I'm currently thinking about adding to the site. Perhaps if a newbie pays for a membership the first time they get to gift a 2nd to another member of their choosing or reward x amount of coins.

I also agree about the empty room comments. We see when some do sit and stay for a while and it starts the ball rolling. This is one reason I'm thinking about adding some type of gaming to the site to encourage some to stick around long enough for others to join. In addition to "coins" so say you're in a public room and there is a low number chatting you receive more coins per post than during high usage.

At the end of the day I can tweak the site code all I want but if we don't have users who come and do things that encourage others then the result is nobody will be here. Reflect on that if you're one of those people who complains about nobody being here and just leave. Stick around, ignore those who piss you off, and interact with newbies and user by user we can grow our membership back.

I totally understand though that people leave because we don't deal with certain individuals but we can't run this site with a room that is touted as "No Holds Barred" but we kick people out because they hurt your feelings. I've tried creating general rooms and doing things with D/s but there just isn't the interest (at least long term) in the community to keep them sustainable.

I'm currently working on the code again to not only improve performance but with the goal to create a new hosting system where others can create and run their own "The Pork" and perhaps with some skin in the game some will step up and run their own site (we host you run) and we can create some sister sites to The Pork with different rule sets (i.e. no adult material, no NHB type rooms, no dupe icon rules etc.) that would draw in new/old users too.
Post #1040733 Back to top ▲
11/25/2017
 
Cradz
The Owner
The Owner
Thanks CJ.

Yes there is a natural ebb and flow to the usage of the site although it's dropped quite a bit the past couple of years. We've been online for nearly 16 years and it's lasted far longer than many thought it would in 2001.

There is a reason you see advertising on pretty much every site on the Internet and sites like ours are never going to be main stream but the point many miss is we're not trying to be! It is unique in many ways and because there is no profit motive it's going to stay that way. No, I don't get paid and in fact as a s-corp the site is a pass through entity meaning I actually end up paying personal taxes on any profit the site does make so it's actually better for me for the site to not make money!

I agree that newbies need to be treated better. Perhaps we can look at some incentives to encourage current members to interact more with newbies or even add some room "helpers" to the rooms and pay them with the new "pork coins" system I'm currently thinking about adding to the site. Perhaps if a newbie pays for a membership the first time they get to gift a 2nd to another member of their choosing or reward x amount of coins.

I also agree about the empty room comments. We see when some do sit and stay for a while and it starts the ball rolling. This is one reason I'm thinking about adding some type of gaming to the site to encourage some to stick around long enough for others to join. In addition to "coins" so say you're in a public room and there is a low number chatting you receive more coins per post than during high usage.

At the end of the day I can tweak the site code all I want but if we don't have users who come and do things that encourage others then the result is nobody will be here. Reflect on that if you're one of those people who complains about nobody being here and just leave. Stick around, ignore those who piss you off, and interact with newbies and user by user we can grow our membership back.

I totally understand though that people leave because we don't deal with certain individuals but we can't run this site with a room that is touted as "No Holds Barred" but we kick people out because they hurt your feelings. I've tried creating general rooms and doing things with D/s but there just isn't the interest (at least long term) in the community to keep them sustainable.

I'm currently working on the code again to not only improve performance but with the goal to create a new hosting system where others can create and run their own "The Pork" and perhaps with some skin in the game some will step up and run their own site (we host you run) and we can create some sister sites to The Pork with different rule sets (i.e. no adult material, no NHB type rooms, no dupe icon rules etc.) that would draw in new/old users too.
Post #1040733
Zanny
11/27/2017   
 
Member Thanks for your input cradz and thank you for providing this place, because of you I have met well over 50 chatters from here in real life people. People I would never had met and to this day many of us are still friends.
for the most part people are good here , but you have a few who need lessons in getting along with others.

CJ, you're welcome
maybe its a topic that needs to be discussed a little more . hopefully without hurting anyone feelings
Post #1040752 Back to top ▲
11/27/2017
 
Zanny
Member
Thanks for your input cradz and thank you for providing this place, because of you I have met well over 50 chatters from here in real life people. People I would never had met and to this day many of us are still friends.
for the most part people are good here , but you have a few who need lessons in getting along with others.

CJ, you're welcome
maybe its a topic that needs to be discussed a little more . hopefully without hurting anyone feelings
Post #1040752
Cradz
11/27/2017   
 
The Owner
The Owner
Zanny (11/27/2017)
Thanks for your input cradz and thank you for providing this place, because of you I have met well over 50 chatters from here in real life people. People I would never had met and to this day many of us are still friends.
for the most part people are good here , but you have a few who need lessons in getting along with others.

CJ, you're welcome
maybe its a topic that needs to be discussed a little more . hopefully without hurting anyone feelings


A few people have met and married which is pretty cool too.

I get what you're saying and over the years I probably should have kicked off a few people who purposely troll the site but if they don't break the rules and don't bypass ignore lists then I feel it's not on me to use my "veto" to remove those users. I kicked a few people off a couple of years ago and some end up on those "other" sites and draw away users they chatted with here so I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Post #1040754 Back to top ▲
11/27/2017
 
Cradz
The Owner
The Owner
Zanny (11/27/2017)
Thanks for your input cradz and thank you for providing this place, because of you I have met well over 50 chatters from here in real life people. People I would never had met and to this day many of us are still friends.
for the most part people are good here , but you have a few who need lessons in getting along with others.

CJ, you're welcome
maybe its a topic that needs to be discussed a little more . hopefully without hurting anyone feelings


A few people have met and married which is pretty cool too.

I get what you're saying and over the years I probably should have kicked off a few people who purposely troll the site but if they don't break the rules and don't bypass ignore lists then I feel it's not on me to use my "veto" to remove those users. I kicked a few people off a couple of years ago and some end up on those "other" sites and draw away users they chatted with here so I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Post #1040754
Lumberjacker
11/27/2017   
 
Member My opinion?

You people are way over thinking this

Look
I have always looked at it like stepping into the corner pub
Kinda like Cheers

There are nice people and assholes
You are going to make a couple great friends if you’re lucky
Learn some things if you are open to conversation

And I never liked the “real time” comments
It’s real time
Your just meeting in a different format

If someone bothers you , ignore them
It’s not high school
We are adults. That’s one of the room rules for entering I think?

I think, if you keep it in perspective, it’s a great place

Thanks Cradz!
Post #1040756 Back to top ▲
11/27/2017
 
Lumberjacker
Member
My opinion?

You people are way over thinking this

Look
I have always looked at it like stepping into the corner pub
Kinda like Cheers

There are nice people and assholes
You are going to make a couple great friends if you’re lucky
Learn some things if you are open to conversation

And I never liked the “real time” comments
It’s real time
Your just meeting in a different format

If someone bothers you , ignore them
It’s not high school
We are adults. That’s one of the room rules for entering I think?

I think, if you keep it in perspective, it’s a great place

Thanks Cradz!
Post #1040756
Zanny
11/28/2017   
 
Member
Of course its a great place LJ and keeping that in perspective. it is real, hence real feelings , real hurts and real loves happen in here. if people take the time to read not just scan a post misunderstandings would be less frequent. it's not just about what people say it's also about what people don't say. it's also from my perception there are over sensitive people in here.

I like to be goofy and attempt humor in here but not everyone finds me that way , some just take it way to seriously and that's their fault not mine.. I have never changed my chat style nor ever will ...

I like to think I have very good relationships with people in here any bad ones are not by fault but of those who have issues with me.. you know what they say fuck'em if they can't take a joke
Post #1040760 Back to top ▲
11/28/2017
 
Zanny
Member
Of course its a great place LJ and keeping that in perspective. it is real, hence real feelings , real hurts and real loves happen in here. if people take the time to read not just scan a post misunderstandings would be less frequent. it's not just about what people say it's also about what people don't say. it's also from my perception there are over sensitive people in here.

I like to be goofy and attempt humor in here but not everyone finds me that way , some just take it way to seriously and that's their fault not mine.. I have never changed my chat style nor ever will ...

I like to think I have very good relationships with people in here any bad ones are not by fault but of those who have issues with me.. you know what they say fuck'em if they can't take a joke
Post #1040760
grace
12/1/2017   
 
Game Master
Game Master
I think newbies get a hard time when they join is because more often than not, the new nickname on the list is just a reinvention of a chatter previously known as someone else.
Post #1040787 Back to top ▲
12/1/2017
 
grace
Game Master
Game Master
I think newbies get a hard time when they join is because more often than not, the new nickname on the list is just a reinvention of a chatter previously known as someone else.
Post #1040787
Topic Info
Forum Moderators: Cradz, MistressTrinna