Hi there everyone,
This is a complex one so I'll try to keep simple;
I'm a married woman, happily married (only for a short time), I've been a submissive since I can remember and thrived on Dom/Sub relationships until I met my now husband. My husband is Vanilla.
We have a fulfilling sex life because I love him very much
However, there is someone at work who I've gotten to become friends with, I'll admit there is an attraction there but I do not want to have sex with him, and he won't unless I of course give my permission (we haven't kissed just talked about mutual attraction)
We've discovered our love of Dom/sub relationships and although sexually gratifying doesn't involve any sex or BDSM.
He controls me at work, without being my boss. It's an incredible turn on.
He tells me what to wear, how to have my hair, what to eat, when to work out he trains me to weight lift. When we go out with work colleagues he plans my outfit in every detail. I do not send him photographs (none explicit) and he knows if I'm not playing ball.
If I do wrong his punishments are to ignore me, then at any opportunity he gets he'll tell me if I've been good or bad, just by the way he looks at me I know. Punishments are only physical when we're out for drinks, where he'll slap my leg (that is as physical as it gets)
One evening out he ordered me to take off my underwear and put them in his pocket, I obliged but felt guilty.
I feel extremely satisfied by my budding d/s relationship, although I can't help but feel that, even though there is no explicit interaction, I may be doing wrong by my husband. I've asked my husband before to dominate but he's just not the right person for it.
I try keep the lives seperate, I am thrilled to be controlled in work in such a way (I'm a Personal assistant so have a level of control to high powered bosses and seek relief from this) knowing someone at work is looking at me, watching me and making decisions for me is utterly amazing.
Anyway, my questions are if anyone has been in a similar (sexual or non sexual) d/s relationship before how they made it work? WILL This situation work or should I fear the tension could get too much and turn into a sexual d/s relationship? Do you have any advise for me on how to please my master in a non sexual way? (Could I do something for him maybe?)
Thanks, Lottielew x