so, whether you are new to The Pork or to the alphabet soup of D/S, BDSM, or S/m--or are beautifully vanilla--it probably goes without saying that these activities usually require two to tango. and, since this is an adult chat site, it should be easy to hook up here, right?
not so fast.
would you believe that many of the same things that help couples click in r/t apply to c/t? I know, right? who'd have thunk?!
so yeah, one's appearance doesn't matter here at The Pork, but chemistry, rapport, and respect are still very important. so how do you establish that?
it's easy: chat. this is, after all, a chat site. go into the rooms and start chatting. PUBLICLY, that is. any of the chat rooms. sure, NHB can be a little intimidating and tough on newbies. stick it out, pick your spots to join into a conversation. be respectful of others and and don't take yourself too seriously.
as for the D/s rooms, they may seem intimidating because of the themes, or the perceived experience level of those present. in truth, the experience level may be less than you think. generally, the chatters present are very accommodating to all experience levels and the broad spectrum of D/s, BDSM, S/m and, yes, open-minded vanillas. try us out in the smaller rooms! join the chat, ask questions, let us get to know you! that's the point.
seriously, you need to establish a public persona in the rooms to gain the rapport, respect, and trust for an online relationship--or even an online booty call. most of us don't really respond favorably to private messages from people we don't know. just like in an r/t club--cheesey lines from a stranger rarely work. chemistry, rapport, respect, and trust ftw! and when I say chat, I mean converse. don't just post things publicly like "anyone wanna get laid?" or "looking for someOne to serve." that's not chatting, it's being a troll. it gets old fast, and does nothing to establish rapport. ((in the D/s rooms, offers to serve are commonplace enough, but most often are accepted when--SURPRISE!--rapport and respect have been built up between the one serving and the One being served.))
and, another thing. while bad breath is not an issue online, some r/t chemistry-busters also apply in the c/t world. chief among them: don't come across as needy, desperate, selfish. if you are submissive, that does not mean you lack self-respect--far from it! if you can't respect yourself, how can you expect others to? and if you can't respect others, how can you expect them to respect you? No means No, here as in r/t. if the only way we know you is because all you do is troll and whine about how you can't find somebody here, you will probably never find a partner here--or in r/t. I'm a Sswitch. as a Top, I can't respect a bottom who only throws himself at Me in desperation urging me to walk all over him. as a bottom, i can't respect a Top Who only talks to me in private messages about how He wants to train me. again: chemistry, rapport, respect.
finally--and this may be analogous to appearance in r/t--think about your chat nickname. if You identify as a Top or Dominant, consider a name like Nox
that begins with an upper-case letter; if you identify as a bottom or submissive, consider a name that begins with a lower case letter such as trainable
(these are recommendations; it's not a hard-and-fast rule. just easier.)) and, please, refrain from names that describe your genatalia.
that's it for now. thanks for listening, and I hope to get to know you in the rooms!Edited: